I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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