Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
