the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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