Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
