I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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