these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
