My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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