I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
