I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
