We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
