I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Houston, we have a blender
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need a burrito and a hug.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
