So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
