Kiss
Puke
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
