White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
