i jhust puked up my retainher.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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