Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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