You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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