i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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