I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
