It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
