I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.