Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  ...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.

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  (480): ...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can. http://tfl.nu/7kew
  Replies (5) Good night (2637) Bad night (671)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  Wasn't he an English major?

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  (703): He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him. (1-703): Wasn't he an English major? http://tfl.nu/vbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (1228) Bad night (5046)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  it's circumsized.

  (954): View more from Florida

  I think this conversation is over.

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  (904): it's circumsized. (954): I think this conversation is over. http://tfl.nu/jc3y
  Replies (44) Good night (1265) Bad night (5130)
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  (961): View more from

  I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit

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  (961): I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit http://tfl.nu/r0do
  Replies (28) Good night (7722) Bad night (1729)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.

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  (937): There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich. http://tfl.nu/hmr5
  Replies (28) Good night (16784) Bad night (1531)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk

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  (+32): this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk http://tfl.nu/muj2
  Replies (8) Good night (3105) Bad night (1015)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.

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  (781): My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays. http://tfl.nu/1wl2
  Replies (3) Good night (4391) Bad night (865)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"

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  (208): They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!" http://tfl.nu/fyfv
  Replies (10) Good night (1748) Bad night (3509)
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  (310): View more from California

  It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw

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  (310): It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw http://tfl.nu/ozdy
  Replies (12) Good night (2871) Bad night (620)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.

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  (785): I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be. http://tfl.nu/axzh
  Replies (7) Good night (455) Bad night (808)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock

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  (406): I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock http://tfl.nu/wbdd
  Replies (9) Good night (2077) Bad night (797)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio

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  (302): Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio http://tfl.nu/5lxt
  Replies (9) Good night (2094) Bad night (602)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy

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  (254): The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy http://tfl.nu/x76r
  Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (881)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops

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  (604): It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops http://tfl.nu/gva8
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (238)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  did i make more ranch sandwiches last night

  (269): View more from Michigan

  you had 4

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  (248): did i make more ranch sandwiches last night (269): you had 4 http://tfl.nu/kctz
  Replies (0) Good night (465) Bad night (560)

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