This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
