i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today