I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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