I just saw a hot homeless man
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
