At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
