he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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