Already got asked if we're dating
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I smell stomach acid.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
