Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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