he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Let's get the cat blown out
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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