Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
