My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
