i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
