Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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