Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
