Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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