I seem to have left my pride at pride
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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