dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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