The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
