I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
