he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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