The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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