so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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