Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."

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(330): View more from Ohio

Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.

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(845): View more from New York

so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date

(845): View more from New York

i guess it runs in the family.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(501): View more from Arkansas

Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?

(501): View more from Arkansas

Go back and try to find another to go home with.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...

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(706): View more from Georgia

It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me

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(925): View more from California

Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him

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