okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
