Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
