I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
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Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
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I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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