I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.