dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.