The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him