When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He? As in you personified your dick?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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