Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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