I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
