Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
