Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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