Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
