Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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