She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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