i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
