Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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