Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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