Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize