Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
