YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
