And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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