No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
