i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
