So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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