there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
