That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
