Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
