Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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