i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
