the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need moral support for this bender
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I FOUND THE LEGS
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
